teamrocketing:

*tries to act cool by not texting back right away but forgets and never texts back*

snopchat:

mom what THE FUCK do you mean youre not a virgin

(Source: flapped)

mormondad:

Why do other ppl have my name wtf

zabuza:

when kids stare at you for a long time

image

warsquirtle:

Has anybody ever actually gotten salmonella from eating raw cookie dough or are people just trying to stop me from living my life

(Source: wartortles)